


A Halloween Cat-astrophe

by victory_cookies



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Were-Creatures, on today's episode of: danville is already so goddamn weird, partially inspired by ask-whitebag's monster au milo bc black cat milo gives me life, this is lowkey crack bc i wanted to write something stupid and fun for halloween
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victory_cookies/pseuds/victory_cookies
Summary: It's Halloween in Danville once again. The night is young, the moon is full, and Milo and his friends are in for quite the spooky surprise.
Relationships: Melissa Chase & Milo Murphy & Zack Underwood
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic takes place a year after Scream-a-Torium

It was a decently-lit and moderately cloudy evening.

Milo hummed absentmindedly as he sauntered down the Danville streets, making his way home with a bag full of bulk-purchased mini chocolate bars (he'd had to get replacements after the ones they'd bought last week had been... somewhat destroyed).

The city around him was covered in Halloween decorations, from jack-o-lanterns in front of shops to orange and black streamers wrapped around lamp posts and strung over banisters. He could even see the huge paper mâché ghost everyone had been talking about (largest in the world, if he remembered correctly)! He clapped his hands together, gasping in excitement at the sight.

The giant spectre hung over Main Street, affixed to two buildings on opposite sides of the road by taut cables, its eternally-screaming face staring down at passers-by.

"Wowee," he said to himself, stopping to admire it. "They sure weren't exaggerating when they called it a _huge_ paper mâché ghost on the news last night—"

He was interrupted by a loud snapping noise.

"Oh, there goes a cable..."

He could only watch as the ghost, now only connected by one intact cable, began to fall from its spot between buildings, crashing into the road below.

"Oh boy," he muttered, turning to hightail it away as the other cable snapped and the ghost began to roll down the road right towards him. He glanced around, looking for somewhere, anywhere he could go that would get him out of getting-crushed-by-a-giant-paper-mâché-ghost range.

Then he spotted it. There! An alleyway! Not the most glamorous of choices, but he'd take it.

He dove into the alley just as the giant rolling ghost would have caught up to him.

"Phew," he breathed, getting back to his feet. "That was a close one." He brushed some dirt off of the front of his clothes, sighing. "At least I'm out of the woods now."

A hiss came from behind him.

He turned around to see a large, mangy cat, its hackles raised and its teeth bared.

He laughed nervously, beginning to back away. "Oh, hi there, didn't mean to intrude... nice kitty..."

The cat lunged at him.

He let out a yelp as it collided with him, its sheer mass almost knocking him over. It clawed at him, hissing and yowling as he tried to push it off.

After a moment of struggle, he managed to grab ahold of it, and he attempted to yank it off. Its claws dug into his sweater vest, tearing holes into it as he pulled. Eventually, he wrestled it off, and he held it out in front of him, looking at it with apprehension. It stared back at him, something unnerving glinting in its eyes, and he shuddered.

Then it twisted around in his grip and bit down hard on his wrist.

He dropped it immediately, cradling his wrist as the animal ran off into the darkness of the alley.

"Ow..." he muttered as he walked out of the alleyway, pulling some antiseptic wipes and bandages out of his backpack. "A cat attack, really? This is worse than the sewer raccoon..."

Oh well, nothing he couldn't handle. He quickly bandaged himself up before checking the time on his watch. Melissa and Zack were probably already at his house at this point. He better get going.

"It was thematic, at least," he mused as he began the walk home.

* * *

"Aww, hey Diogee, how's it going?" Milo exclaimed as he opened the front door of his house, spotting the dog wagging his tail inside.

Diogee barked and ran over to him, only to freeze a few feet away. He began to growl.

Milo's brows furrowed. "What is it, boy?"

Diogee barked at him again.

Milo looked down at his clothes, seeing the cat hair and scratches covering them. "Oh, do I smell like cat? I'm sorry about that." He laughed. "I'll go change in a bit, buddy, don't you worry."

He moved to pat him on the head as he walked by, but Diogee just growled harder.

Milo pulled his hand away, frowning.

He made his way into the living room to see Zack and Melissa relaxing on the couch. Zack, true to form, was lying upside down.

"Eyyy!" Melissa whooped, straightening up as he walked in. "There you are!"

"Yeah, sorry I'm late. I had a bit of a run in with a large paper mâché ghost and a stray cat. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

"Nah, we only got here, like, ten minutes ago. Your mom let us in before she and your dad and Sara left for their party."

"That's good." Milo pulled the bag of candy bars out of his backpack and ran them to the kitchen before returning to the living room. "You guys have your costumes?"

Zack nodded. "Of course I do. I did promise you guys I'd actually wear a costume this year, and an Underwood never goes back on a promise."

"Zack, Melissa threatened to steal all of your candy if you didn't wear something."

"That may have also influenced my decision," he admitted, crossing his arms. "Anyway, what are you going as? Someone who just wrestled a blender at a crazy cat lady's house?"

Milo looked down at his shirt again. "Oh, right," he laughed. "Forgot about that. No, I don't actually know what I'm gonna go as." He swung his backpack around and opened it up, sitting down on the floor. "I just have so many options, I can't choose!"

Melissa and Zack's eyes widened as he upturned the bag, dumping out a full-on pile of costumes.

"Do I go as a ghost? Or maybe as a pirate?" he asked, holding up the outfits one by one. "Or a zombie!"

Zack rolled off the couch. "Is this a Ducky Momo costume?" He pulled it out of the pile.

Milo shrugged. "I was making sure I had options."

Melissa slid onto the floor as well and began to dig through the fabric. "You could go as Dr. D," she suggested, pulling out a lab coat. "It would double as a pharmacist costume too!"

"How about... Dakota?" Zack grabbed a familiar track suit out of the pile, looking confused. "Why in the world would you even have this?"

Milo rubbed the back of his neck. "Remind me to give that back to him."

"How about a vampire?"

"I went as that last year, Melissa."

"Oh, right."

They sat there in silence for a while, just digging through the costumes, occasionally holding one up to Milo only for him to shake his head no. 

Milo pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Who knew it could be so tough to pick a costume! This could take hours!"

It took another twenty-six minutes.

Eventually, the three of them were dressed in their costumes, Milo having settled on going as a zombie, Zack as a wizard, and Melissa as a knight.

"And there we are," said Milo as he affixed a 'two per person' sign to the bowl of candy bars. He placed it on a stool outside the front door and turned to his friends. "You ready to go?"

They both nodded.

"Alright then! Trick-or-treating, here we come!"

* * *

"Trick-or-treat!"

The door in front of them had opened to reveal a smiling old lady. "Oh, aren't you lovelies adorable?" she said, placing some candy in their bags. "It's so good to see some older kids still getting in the Halloween spirit. My grandson claims he's too old for it now, but I believe you're never too old to go trick-or-treating."

"Thank you, ma'am. I wholeheartedly agree," said Melissa, beaming.

The woman grinned. "You kiddos have a good night."

"You too!" they replied as they walked away.

Melissa pumped a fist in the air. "Take that, dad! I'm not too old to go trick-or-treating yet, at least in the eyes of a random old lady!"

"Oh, is your dad one of those people?" Zack asked.

"Yeah. He thinks once you hit thirteen, you should age out of having any fun at all."

"Really?" Milo looked concerned.

"No, he just thinks teenagers shouldn't go trick-or-treating because they're 'supposed to be more mature'.” She scoffed. “Mature my ass."

"Oh, that makes more sense."

They continued to walk around the neighbourhood as the sun began to set, collecting candy and occasionally stopping to talk with school friends they ran into on the streets.

At one point, Milo spotted Bradley, Chad and Mort across the road.

"Hey guys!" he yelled, hurrying over to them. "How's it goin'?"

"Worse, now that you're here," Bradley muttered. Mort turned to glare at him.

"It's goin' alright," he said. "How's your night been?"

"Pretty good so far! We've gotten lots of candy, and only one lamppost has almost fallen on us!"

"I've discovered that trick-or-treating invites a lot less danger than a haunted house inside a decommissioned truck," said Zack, walking up behind him with Melissa in tow. "Who'd-a thunk it?"

"Who'd-a thunk it..." Melissa echoed.

"Huh… well, I like your guys' costumes," Chad commented.

"Thanks!"

Bradley sighed. "C'mon guys, we should get going if we want to get a spot in line for the haunted house at the Brookes'."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Mort said. He turned back to the trio. "Well, you guys have fun."

"You too!" replied Milo.

The evening continued on, darkness slowly creeping in.

"I wish it wasn't so cloudy today," Melissa commented at one point. "It's a full moon tonight — on Halloween — and we can't even see it!"

"Yeah..." Milo said, looking up and placing a hand to the side of his head. He’d begun to feel slightly dizzy. He looked over to his friends. "Hey, I'm feeling a little funny. Do you guys mind if we stop for a little bit?"

"Oh, sure. We've already got enough candy to last us weeks anyways. The park's right around the corner, if you want we can go and find a bench to rest on there?" Melissa suggested.

"That sounds great."

The three of them made their way into the empty park and quickly found a bench. Milo sat down on it, placing his candy bag next to him. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a water bottle, unscrewing the cap and taking a small sip.

"You okay?" Zack asked, sitting down next to him.

"Yeah, just a little lightheaded. I'm probably just dehydrated." He leaned forward and pressed his head into his hands, exhaling slowly. 

Zack nodded and gently rubbed his back.

He was taken aback as Milo began to make a low rumbling sound. He looked up at Melissa, who was standing in front of them. Her brows were furrowed as she stared at Milo, clearly just as confused as Zack.

"Uh, Milo?" Zack said, pulling his hand away. "You good still? What was that?"

The rumbling stopped and Milo turned to him, blinking confusedly. "What was what?"

"Er, nevermind." He raised his eyebrows at Melissa, who just shrugged, as lost as he was.

The three of them just chilled there for a while, taking in the quiet sounds of the park and the cool night air. Milo drained half his water bottle, though it wasn’t making him feel any better, before he sighed and put it away. He rubbed his eyes and leaned against the seat back, looking up at the sky. 

"Oh, hey look, the clouds are clearing up!" he pointed out, seeing the moon and stars begin to peek out from behind the cover. "Looks like you'll get that Halloween full moon after all, Meliss— ack!" He doubled over as a sudden wave of dizziness and pain swept over him.

"Milo?" she said, taking a step forward. "Are you alright?"

Milo let out a strained squeak and fell forward onto the grass in front of him. His backpack tumbled to the ground beside him, falling open and letting a few items slide out, including a socket wrench and a hand mirror, which cracked upon impact.

"Milo!" Zack cried, standing up. He too took a step towards his friend, but he froze as Milo began to shudder.

The two of them could only look on as the change began.

A layer of fuzzy, black fur began to grow all over his body, making him itch like nothing ever had before. He could feel his face beginning to change shape, and small, sharp teeth ripped their way through his gums, forcing him to spit out an acrid mixture of blood and saliva. There then came a series of horrible cracking noises as his leg bones began to seemingly rearrange themselves and his hands and feet morphed into sharp-clawed paws. At that point, the excruciating discomfort of it all became too intense for him to keep track of what was happening anymore, though he could tell it wasn’t over. He let out an agonized yowl before briefly blacking out from the pain.

He awoke to Zack and Melissa standing over him, faces filled with a mixture of concern and fear.

"What... what just happened?" he managed to force out.

Melissa silently picked up the cracked hand mirror from his backpack and handed it to him.

He looked at the glass, spotting the fractured, unfamiliar reflection in it, and his eyes widened.

"I—" His voice caught. "Am I a cat?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a short one shot but it's grown into a multi-chapter lol
> 
> I'm on tumblr @victory-cookies!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long y'all

"Actually, you're still kinda humanoid, so I'd say you're more of, like, a werecat?" Melissa replied, watching Milo stare at himself through the cracks in the hand mirror.  
  
His face was shaped into a snout and covered in black fur. Atop his head sat a pair of triangular ears, which twitched at every small noise he heard, and he could see small fangs peeking out of his mouth. He was relieved to notice that he still had his signature flip (though it was more just a spiky tuft of fur now).  
  
He lowered the mirror and stood up, noticing that his shirt was basically torn to shreds as he did so. "Uh, what happened to my clothes? Not that they weren't ripped already, it being a zombie costume, but..."  
  
"You tried to claw them off during the... transformation thing," said Zack.  
  
"I guess I did feel pretty itchy," Milo looked down at his hands— paws, now. "Oh, hey, look, I have toe beans!"  
  
"Cool!" Melissa peered at them with interest.  
  
"In case you were wondering, you have a tail, too," Zack pointed out.  
  
Milo twisted around to look and saw that he was right. It flicked back and forth a few times, and he impulsively began to bat at it.  
  
Melissa raised her eyebrows at the action. "Alright, that's sure a... thing... so, I guess you have lycanthropy now? And could you stop attacking your tail for a sec?"  
  
He froze, looking sheepish and lowing his arms. "Technically, lycanthropy would refer to were _wolves_ , while I seem to be a were _cat_. But, to answer your first question, yeah."  
  
"Semantics," she said. "And then what would it be? Felinethropy?"  
  
Milo raised a paw to his chin and gazed upward, thinking. "No, feline is Latin, whereas the term lycanthropy originally stems from the Greek word ' _lukanthrōpia_ ', which is derived from ' _lukos_ ', meaning wolf, and ' _anthrōpos_ ', meaning man, so really you'd need to use the Ancient Greek word for cat instead. Hold on, let me look it up..." He pulled his phone out and began to fiddle with it, but after a few seconds he sighed and looked back up at his friends. "I can't type with paws. Can one of you...?"  
  
"I'm on it," Zack said, already fishing out his own phone. "It's called 'ailuranthropy', apparently," he eventually reported. "Who knew?"  
  
"Milo did. Kinda," Melissa said.  
  
The ailuranthrope grinned, revealing a mouth of small, sharp teeth. "What can I say? I like etymology."  
  
"Isn't that the study of insects? What would that have to do with this?" Zack's asked, brow furrowing.  
  
"No, that's entomology. Common mistake," Milo said with a shrug.  
  
Melissa rolled her eyes. "We're so off topic, my lord. Okay. So. To recap, Milo has ailuranthropy, which means he's a werecat, which means he looks and to an extent acts like a cat. We have no idea the what possible impacts this could have, or if it could be harmful to him, correct?"  
  
The two boys nodded.  
  
"Should we maybe look into that? Find an expert? And maybe see if we can find a way to reverse it before it does any damage, since this 'anthropy' business is typically, y'know, a _curse_?"  
  
"I mean, yeah, that's probably a good idea..." Milo replied. "But who would know _that_ much about were-creatures?" 

* * *

"Alright, you two stay here, and I'll go interrogate Chad," Melissa said, looking at Milo and Zack. The two of them were crouched behind a hedge in the yard of the house across from the Brookes' place, where they knew Chad and the others had headed off to last time they'd talked.  
  
"Remind me again why we can't come?" Zack asked.  
  
"We have to be covert. The last thing we need is Chad finding out that Milo is, y'know..." She waved an encompassing hand at him. "Knowing him, there's a fifty-fifty chance he'll either start fanboying or running in terror. Either way, everyone is going to know about it by the end of the night, and then of course we'll have to deal with secret government agents and kidnappings and unethical science experiments and we just really do not need all that."  
  
"Melissa, I don't think that—" Milo started, but he was cut off by her shushing him.  
  
"Here he comes... and he's alone, score!" She pumped a fist, watching the boy in a vampire costume walk out of the heavily-decorated house, weaving around fake gravestones and large Halloween inflatables before leaning up against the front fence, which was draped in orange streamers. "Okay, wish me luck!"  
  
"Luck," Zack and Milo chorused as she walked away.  
  
They settled behind the hedge, peeking through the leaves every so often to watch her approach Chad.  
  
"I wonder how this is gonna go," Zack muttered.  
  
"I'm sure it'll turn out fine," Milo assured him, picking a stray leaf off of his sweater vest (Melissa had suggested he change into it, as his original costume was shredded, explaining that he could just claim that the whole cat thing was his costume instead). "Chad knows lots about supernatural phenomena, so he'll probably know all about ailuranthropy!"  
  
"I guess you're right." Zack peered through the bush again, seeing Melissa finally strike up a conversation with Chad. "I wonder what they're talking about right now..."  
  
"Chad just told her that Bradley and Mort are stuck in the Brookes' haunted walk," Milo said simply.  
  
Zack turned to him in surprise. "How'd you know that?"  
  
"I can hear them?"  
  
"They're all the way across the road!"  
  
Milo shrugged and pointed at his ears.  
  
"Right, I guess you are a cat... and they can hear well, right?"  
  
"I can only assume..."  
  
"Well then, what are they saying now?"  
  
Milo's ears perked up, and he sat silently for a few moments before a worried expression crossed his face.  
  
"What is it?" Zack asked worriedly.  
  
"I don't—" Milo began, but he stopped as a harsh wind blew in, almost drowning out a sudden cracking noise that came from beside them. He sprang to his feet, glancing over at the edge of the yard to see a tall, rotten-looking tree begin to sway and tip in the breeze.  
  
And with another resounding crack, it began to fall towards them.  
  
"Time to go!" he said, scooping up Zack on instinct and running in the other direction.  
  
"Milo!" Zack yelled, clinging onto him with one arm and pointing frantically with the other. "Behind!"  
  
He looked back to see the top of the tree collide with a power line. A burst of sparks shot off of it it, and the branches burst into flames before the tree was forcefully flung off the line, directly at them.  
  
Zack screamed.

* * *

"Hey, Chad," Melissa said, sliding up next to him. She leaned against the wooden fence he was standing in front of and placed a hand on her hip. "Whatcha doin'?"  
  
Chad shrugged. "I'm waiting for Mort and Bradley to come out of the haunted house. We got separated and they must have gotten lost in there." He glanced back at the impressively decorated house behind them. "Poor, poor souls. I warned them, the Brookes' haunted walk is like a maze— there's a reason they're known for having the second best Halloween party in town— but they didn't listen... hold on, where are Milo and Zack?"  
  
"They... are still trick-or-treating," she said, eyes flicking over to a hedge on a property across the road. She could see the tip of a wizard hat and two black ears poking out over top of the bush.  
  
"Oh, cool. Well, did you need something? Or did you just come over to say hi?"  
  
She clasped her hands together. "I was hoping you knew some stuff about were-creatures that you could tell me about?"  
  
Chad's eyes lit up immediately, and he pulled his costume's cape around him with a flourish, holding it in front of his face as though he were a vampire himself. "Were-creatures, you say?" He chuckled quietly. "Of course... they're humans under a dark spell, cursed to transform into a bloodthirsty animal every full moon, spreading terror and leaving behind the mutilated corpses of their victims to be found come morning. It is said that they have the strength of 20 men and senses beyond our comprehension, abilities they use to hunt and capture their prey before they tear them limb from limb with bloodstained muzzles, consumed by a mindless hunger."  
  
Melissa's face paled.  
  
"Sorry, was that too much?" he asked, dropping the cape and rubbing the back oh his neck. "I've been try not to exaggerate lately, but Mort says I still go too dark with the descriptors sometimes, I—"  
  
"No, it's fine, I just— do you know if, I don't know, there's any way to cure it?" she said, fiddling with the hilt of the prop sword at her hip.  
  
He nodded, opening his mouth, before closing it again and looking at her with suspicion. "Wait, why do you need to know? Don't you normally not believe in this stuff?" His eyes widened. "Are... are you a werewolf?" He took a step away from her, fearful. "Is that why you need the cure?"  
  
"Chad, don't be ridiculous. I'm not a werewolf." She gestured at herself. "Full moon's out, so I think you'd be able to tell if I was."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I guess you're right." He shrugged and then reached behind his back and pulled out an old-looking book, bound in dark leather, the words 'Secrets of Danville: Vol. 27' stamped into the cover.  
  
"Do you always carry that on you?"  
  
He waved her off, flipping through the pages quickly. "Okay, let me just look this up for you, this is the sort of thing you want to use a reference for... seriously, though, why _do_ you want to know the cure for lycanthropy? Is someone else a werewolf?"  
  
"Well, uh—"  
  
She was interrupted by a harsh gust of wind, followed by series of loud noises and a high-pitched scream from across the road. The two of them looked over to see what looked like a flaming tree flying towards a black-furred, catlike figure in a familiar sweater vest and backpack holding a boy in blue robes.  
  
"Oh, shit," she muttered under her breath, eyes widening.  
  
"What the—" Chad exclaimed as the black-furred one jumped out of the way of the tree, clearing it easily (despite the added weight of his passenger) and gracefully landing a full half of the way across the street. He put the blue-robed boy down and then pointed back at the tree, which had crashed to the ground, launching flaming shards of branch flying through the air towards them. They both turned heel and began to run, dodging the fiery projectiles with practiced skill, before they skidded to a stop in front of Melissa and Chad.  
  
Chad's jaw hung open, and Melissa sighed.  
  
"So much for covert," she muttered. "You two okay?"  
  
"Never better," deadpanned Zack, straightening his hat.  
  
"I'm great! Did you see how high I jumped there?" Milo exclaimed, waving his arms. "That was nuts!"  
  
"It was pretty high," she admitted.  
  
Suddenly, Chad let out a squeak, and the three other kids turned to him. He was pale, a mix of fear and excitement on his face as he stared at Milo.  
  
"Is... is Milo a— a werecat? Is _that_ why you need the cure?"  
  
"Perhaps..." Melissa said at the same time as Milo answered with a definite, "Yes."  
  
Chad looked like he was going to faint. "Can I touch your fur?"  
  
Milo glanced to the side, unsure. "I mean... if you really want to."  
  
Chad slowly brushed a hand against his cheek. "Woah," he murmured.  
  
"O-kay, this is making me a little uncomfortable," said Zack after a long moment. "Hey, Chad, we need the cure, remember?"  
  
"Oh. Right." He lowered his hand and flipped open his book. "Cure for were-ism, cure for were-ism— ah, here it is!" He peered at the page. "It says at the top here that you need to use, uh, hair of the dog?"  
  
Melissa raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that for, like, hangovers? Drinking booze the morning after? Because I don't think Milo's parents would be thrilled about that."  
  
"Well, it did originally refer to the actual idea that putting a little hair of the dog that bit you in the wound would help you get better," Milo pointed out. "Maybe that's what it means in this case?"  
  
"Oh, wait, it says down here: 'All manners of were-creatures can be cured, but only during their very first transformation, and only should they have the hair if the beast that infected them. Then, should it be taken in a brew of coffee and olive oil before the moon sets, they shall be cured.'  
  
"Oh, okay... that's... gross, but actually achievable, probably. And not illegal. We just need to find the cat that attacked you, Milo," Zack said.  
  
"It also says that if you don't cure them, they will slowly descend into animalistic madness and bloodlust with every following transformation until they are consumed entirely by the curse." Chad looked up at Milo. "The first transformation is the only one where they're still human enough, _sane_ enough to be brought back..."  
  
"Well that's... not good," Milo observed, looking worried. "I guess we really have to find that cat then."  
  
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," Chad replied. "I— I'd help you guys, but I told my mom I'd be home by eleven..."  
  
"That's alright, you've already been a ton of help," the werecat assured. "I do have one more question, though. Why am I a half-human, half-cat—"  
  
"A catboy, if you will," Melissa whispered, earning a punch from Zack. She looked down at his fist and then up at him, offended. "Hey, that's my line!"  
  
"—if the thing that bit me was just a regular, full-on cat?"  
  
Chad shrugged. "I dunno, man. I don't know _everything_ about these things."  
  
"Huh. Well, the universe works in mysterious ways." He smiled. "See you later, then!"  
  
"Alright, good luck," Chad replied. "See ya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I could make one fursuit joke and one catboy joke and i used them both in one chapter lol (Melissa really just saw werecat!Milo and had to take the opportunity).
> 
> Also y'all I did so much random research (and went down so many wikipedia rabbit holes) for little things in this. Like, there is a legit reason for the coffee and olive oil thing, and I probably won't explain it in-fic, but I know why it's there in my heart at least.
> 
> Anyway I'm on tumblr @victory-cookies


End file.
